My photo presented in a Woman in M.E. III exhibition

~Through the eyes of a child~
~Vaiko akimis~

This photo was presented in a project/exhibition “Woman in M.E.III”. It represents a beautiful, strong woman, tender mom, unique personality I am honored to be friends with. After she gave birth to her wonderful son, her sight got worse, to a minimum because of the diabetes she had since she was 8. Now, as she says, she learned to do the things she never did when she had a good sight – play the piano, dance, write songs, see things differently. And I believe this is a God gift. I admire her poetry, songs and they make me feel more things which are not obvious.

The EYES on her arms – her son’s eyes, they actually are her eyes now..

The SONG in the back is Slumber Song, by Schumann 1941, which I “accidentally” found to give this picture a mood – peace, comfort, grateful motherhood. (
Just one of her songs is here: and you can find more on her FB page

The NAME for this picture was given by Severina’s son – Aidas! He is almost 7. I didn’t name it myself on purpose. It was a feeling I could not describe looking at this picture but Aidas did a great job here! He is incredible, have a look at his own song here:

About Woman in M.E.III:
Photos from Woman in M.E.III exhibition:
A big thanks to Margarita who made it possible 

Other posts about Severina:
**…mano vaikystės draugė – viena iš dvyniu, su ja pažįstamos nuo darželio laikų, kartu laukėmės, aš antro, ji pirmo vaiko.. …ji susirgo cukriniu diabetu. Nepaisant gydytojų nepalankios nuomonės, ji net nesvarstė, ar gimdys ar ne. lki šiol jai Aidas – didžiausia Dievo dovana. Ji nuolat sakydavo – ‘gyvenu viena karta, todėl reikia džiaugtis šia akimirka ir gailėtis to, ko dar nepadariau’. Ji visuomet buvo linksma, pasitikinti savimi, graži mergina.
Po gimdymo iš tikrųjų jos sveikata ėme sparčiai blogėti, ypač rega. Jai atliko kelias operacijas..buvo momentai, kai ji galvojo, kad niekada nebematys..Ačiū Dievui, šiandien dienai ji šiek tiek mato, tačiau didžiai visų nuostabai, po sunkaus periodo, ji ėme kurti muziką ir dainuoti! Žinau, kad nuo vaikystes kurdavo nerealius eilėraščius, tačiau kai išgirdau jos dainas, abstulbau. Beje, jipradėjo ir šokti ir daryti daug dalykų, kurių nedarė regėdama. Bet didžiausias stebuklas buvo, kai ji dalyvaudama vienoje aklųjų ir neregių stovykloje, prisėdusi prie seno fortepijono ėme groti..nematydama!
Aš verkiau kai klausiausi..nes tai buvo tiesiog nesuvokiama, ji niekad negrojo ir nedainavo anksčiau..
Na iš tiesų, ji gal savo istoriją plačiau ir tiksliau aprašytu..
šiai dienai, ji man, bene, stipriausia pažįstama moteris ir mama, jos sūnus – nerealus vaikas.. ji puikus pavyzdys kiekvienai verkšlenančiai dėl smulkmenų moteriai…na, man ji tiesiog stebuklas – Severina.

© Ausra Marcinkus Photography 2014

This is just a FRAGMENT. You can find the whole picture HERE



Mission – The month without the trousers – accomplished!

That was a very unusual MAY, the month without the trousers but really fun and womanish 🙂 I can truly say that every single day I ACTUALLY WORE that outfit which is in the photo from morning (after sports) till night, not just put it on for the photo. There was only one day when I was not able to wear a dress because I had lots of work outside. I am glad I made it and had lots of support and encouragement. I celebrated 31 May and all my “dressy” month by the beach, swimming with a dress;) Few remarks on this project:

Best part of it:

1. I remembered all women who inspire me the most and wrote why.

2. I looked after myself and felt more confident.

3. I smiled more.

4. I got numerous of compliments

5. I found out that my bum is not that big and it can be hidden in a dress :))

6. I lost few pounds 😉

7. I didn’t have to wear different clothes every day. I used my imagination, changed parts of it.

Worst part of it:

1. Selfies.. that was the worst thing. The most annoying part of the day when I had to take a selfie for the record!

2. Lack of dresses and skirts in my wardrobe.

3. It’s cold.. when it’s cold outside.

4. Photos were made using my phone, apologies for the quality and posing :))

So, here it is – the whole month and you can find all my photos HERE

koliazas su watermark



The first exhibition I am in – “Woman in M.E.”, London

I am so happy to take part in Woman In M.E. exhibition on 29th May! I’m so grateful for this opportunity. My friend is an inspirational personality, woman, mother.. Her photo will be there  I wrote about her in my blog: 

She came to me all the way from Lithuania with her son who is also a part of our picture which will be there, on the wall and we are all excited as it is in two days. The picture will be revealed after the opening of the exhibition. Visit my Facebook page to get the latest updates.

A month without the trousers starts NOW!

Recently a friend told me about the project called “May – a month without the trousers” and I promptly joined in…because normally I wear ONLY trousers.. I don’t like skirts or dresses because I feel fat when I see myself in them..I wouldn’t say that I feel skinny in jeans .. no 🙂 but I just don’t feel comfortable when my femininity can be so obvious .. this thing – a dress…makes it obvious.. I always try to hide it behind the big balls :)) which, in fact, aren’t that big at  all.. So..this month, every day, I challenge myself to wear a dress or a skirt… or anything else but the trousers or anything similar to them (except when I got to the gym :))…and I will try to DO IT for all the woman who inspired me because God created me, a woman, for a particular reason, why is it so hard to love myself as I am? Fat or skinny.. too short..too much stretchmarks..too many moles, crooked legs..  omg..I was never enough for myself and really nobody was so harsh on me as I was on myself, ever.  And it is not that easy to change what was set as a default .. but I am learning. I am trying. I already made some big steps towards and I need to move on because no person can really love others without loving him or herself. Sometimes it starts with a quiet time just for you, or a cup of coffee, or a chat with a friend, or letting go of your past.. or.. a dress 🙂 After all, I have amazing teachers all around me! This exciting month I will start dedicating my day for the most important woman in my life – my mom, who is an example of a hard-working, punctual, responsible, strong and determined but also creative, sensitive and sensible woman. So, today I will wear a dress for my mom  ❤ 

I’ll post my pictures for the following days at my Facebook page. Join me if you like the idea, send me (on Facebook or  your DRESSY pictures and a short note what makes you feel good about being a woman, who inspires you, what do you do to truly accept all of you as you are? There are so many woman lacking self confidence, you may brighten their day up or even give them the wings!  I’ll post your pictures on my Facebook page and will randomly choose one of you for a FREE PHOTO SESSION at the end of the month! 

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New fine art picture – Womanhood

On this special occasion, which is my sister’s birthday, I would like to dedicate this picture to her. She inspired me to show the power of inner beauty which is inside of every woman, no matter the inner critic, let him watch.. not prevail.  

The picture was born in an abandoned farm where we created an amazing dress from our grandmother’s woven spread and accidentally found a spacious and interesting room there. The walls of that room reminded of a pattern of the woven spread! You can see more of that photoshoot here

And here is a fragment of a ~ Womanhood ~ You can see the full picture here . Let me know what you think about it 😉

With love…


ausramarcinkus photography

Bloody Sunday in Lithuania, 13 January, 1991

I was born in captivity. Well, I didn’t know or understand that until I was a teenager. Lithuania was occupied by the USSR and lost its independence in June 1940 until March 11, 1990 when The Act of the Re-Establishment of the State of Lithuania was signed stating that Lithuania is restoring it’s independency based on the Act of Independence of Lithuania  proclaimed on February 16, 1918. The USSR didn’t “like” the Act of Re-Establishment and  on January 13, 1991 Soviet forces stormed the Parliament building in Vilnius along with the Vilnius TV Tower. Unarmed civilian Lithuanians confronted Soviet soldiers. Fourteen people were killed and seven hundred injured in what became known as January Events, or Bloody Sunday. I was 8 by then. I lived 6 km away from the TV Tower and couldn’t understand what’s going on but the silence and tension at home was so clear that I knew something was wrong. I didn’t have to go to school and I felt this was because my parents were afraid of my safety. They didn’t let me out for a play for a few days. The radio was the only thing that was on almost all the time…everybody waited.. for the news. Well not everybody actually, my husband was 18 then and he was there with hundreds of other young people.  Following the 13th of January, large crowds (20,000 during the night, more than 50,000 in the morning) of independence supporters gathered around the Supreme Council building. People started building anti-tank barricades and setting up defenses inside surrounding buildings. Provisional chapels were set up inside and outside the Supreme Council building. Members of the crowd prayed, sang and shouted pro-independence slogans. Despite columns of military trucks, BMPs and tanks moving into the vicinity of the Supreme Council, Soviet military forces retreated instead of attacking. 

I’m writing this post maybe because of that being an emigrant today I feel more love to my roots than ever or maybe because of that I’m getting old and sentimental, or maybe I want to tell others more about Lithuania but I hope to live in a free country, to raise my children and let them know that freedom was not always a natural thing maybe because of that we, including myself, are not so open to other nations and sometimes even to each other… Anyway some of us are really patriotic and show it without fear. I don’t know what about the others but we love that place in London, a hill with Lithuanian “flags” on it. We call it a “Lithuanian hill” and just simply go there for a walk sometimes where we can sit and think for a while where we came from…IMG_6027 IMG_6041 IMG_6043 IMG_6071

The making of a fine art picture – “The Hunt”

I am really excited to have my canvas done. The canvas  of the very first fine art picture I made this year.  So as a salute to this I’m gonna post a condensed workflow  from the very untouched photo to a fully finished canvas. 

It all started at Photo Blitz. You can read more about it HERE and HERE. 

Before taking a picture I already knew that I would edit it in one or another way but .. I couldn’t see a clear picture in my mind yet. I thought – this guy would look a little creepy – that’s for sure! I wanted him to give my picture a feeling of waiting, for something, or somebody…  So I asked him (btw his name’s Arthur) to pose the way I wanted and took this shot:


Well, lets’s take it for a start 🙂 I picked it acctually from a stack of around 30 shots. I took additional photos of a landscape.  Later on I added them up trying to compose a wider view keeping the man almost in the centre. I don’t like to use a wider lens because it distorts proportions of a subject in a landscape.  I used 50mm for all of those shots. This is how a rough mosaic of around 10 photos looked like in Photoshop:


I spent quite “some” time smothering and aligning the edges..filling the gaps, clearing some background bits I didn’t like, making some mist and …oh ..lots of other painting there 🙂


Then changed colors…many times.. and brought some light on this gentleman’s face,  a little magic dust and some plants started to crawl up his feet soaking up the anger and the hatred which now appeared on his face 🙂


Some blood and scratches… I could feel the fight and somebody definitely fought back.. then I added some bats – I made their photos that same day (Halloween decorations):


Then I had a vision of a girl..hiding .. and I had a perfect shot from the Photo Blitz that day as well where my model was Vita.:


So, I took her and placed her here …where she is still  hiding, waiting ..  


well, I don’t know how about you but looking at the hunter’s expression on his face.. and at the final picture – I don’t think she will get away.. 🙂 well, maybe not today?..  To be honest, I really enjoyed the process of making “The Hunt” . The more I worked on it the more I could see the picture I wanted to see and of course it’s my first “babe” so it is really important to me. I think the most important part is what I can feel when I look at it. How much time did it take?…umm..second question… 😉 


The last thing I wanted to do is a canvas which could remind me my first steps into fine art. I used and they were absolutely great in prices and quality. Honestly? I’ve never had a it looks perfect for me. I made couple of more at once but they will remain silent until Christmas 🙂 I took this quick shot with my daughter hiding behind it 🙂  Now the canvas is hanging on a wall in a respectable place.


Feel free to leave a comment of what you think of “The Hunt” or any part of making it.

Our visit to National Portrait Gallery (London, UK)

 I always struggle with blaming myself about not spending more time with my girls, so, this time I just had to force myself to find that time. Saturday was a perfect day for our visit and it was, actually, my first visit to a photo gallery where we saw Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize exhibition. Em.. I was excited ’cause it was something really catching and I could really feel what every author wanted to say, I think. Later, when we got home and I went online to watch those photos again – I experienced a strange feeling –  these portraits were like people – I’ve already known from the past.. The exhibition, as you might expect, was a bit boring for my girls but we tried to read as much as we could and talk about things we saw. My younger one had a flyer with some photos in it and she was excited to find all of them on the wall. I really want to encourage my children to look for more diverse things in life, to find a beauty of a moment in them, to observe it and fill it with their presence.  I think, what got me most, was big size portraits –  you can look closely and directly into woman’s or man’s eyes.. and of course – a little story behind the scenes which gives a photo a living experience you can “touch”, which is quite important to me.. So, if you have a chance – simply find time and go there! 

Some facts from online:

“The Taylor Wessing Photographic Portrait Prize 2013 is a unique opportunity to see sixty new portraits by some of the most exciting contemporary photographers from around the world. Through editorial, advertising and fine art prints, the exhibition explores a range of themes, styles and approaches to the photographic portrait, from formal commissioned images of famous faces to more spontaneous and intimate moments capturing friends and family”.

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The strongest person I know

I met her in a nursery.. we went together to school but started to spend more time together just in the last grades.  She is unique, I always admired her and learned “YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE” from her. She was and still is a perfect example of positive thinking, I had to learn it and she had it naturally. In my early youth years I  started to learn from her to be spontaneous, to express even the craziest thoughts, to enjoy life how it is at that moment, not to try to be perfect for everybody.. and I’m still learning. I always thought – how come she is SO strong when she has this illness and I am so week though I’m not ill.. God really sends angels to this life – living angels amongst us. I am so grateful we can travel this life together even though a thousand miles apart. It’s a pity that our children cannot play together so often and we cannot have those wonderful conversations so often but.. she keeps encouraging me even without saying anything. She started to compose music and lyrics herself, and sing not so long ago.  I was shocked when I heard what she can do.. I cried .. and felt so touched..She started playing the piano and dance after so many eyes’ surgeries, her sight got much worse after she had her son, to say the least.. But she always said – he is a miracle! God can do miracles! God bless her and her family. Love her and miss her so much. Her singing poetry drifts me somewhere far away and usually I cry when I listen to them or quietly smile – it is so meaningful. For me at least.. With her permission I’m sharing one of her songs. Though it’s in Lithuanian I think you can still feel it. Feel free to share if you like it 😉

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How ISO, shutter speed and aperture affects YOUR LIFE

~ There comes a freedom ~So, this will be a different post I was not sure to share it or not. I wrote something after one camp in Lithuania which was called – A journey to your inner child – on the very first days of August where I went through many experiences and my latest creation ~ There comes a freedom ~   came out of it. What is in it? Two women standing bare feet on an old big and flat stone covered in fluffy a big old wood.. deep breath in..   before the scream..  And what can YOU see? I suppose it’ll be clear after you read it.


“ I am writing this for myself… so I won’t forget… and if I ever get seriously sick, please, give me this to read every day what I’ve experienced here. I want to remember every day what gifts I’ve got and how’s all of us related – all people, animals, nature and when you open your heart and pour out all the hogwash – goodness and love starts to break into it. Only now I realize what I have heard earlier – that love OR fear lives inside me. While fear is alive I cannot love myself and others with ALL my heart, unconditionally.  It doesn’t matter what I fear – then there’s no place for love.  And I don’t know, what makes me climb over myself, over my fears, what or who helps to switch of my mind and do things which seem to be stupid, uncomfortable, unacceptable for one’s mind.  This „what“ or „who“  apparently feels my  little wish to try, to touch something inexperienced and at the right moment it switches all the „what if..“ and here comes the chain reaction. Explosions!. of pride, sorrow, longing and grief, hatred, fear – everything splashes in all directions, mind tries to catch them and to realize what‘s going on, it tries, but it‘s powerless because there is some”thing” inside much more powerful then mind  and the fireworks continue. The ones which go up high with loud tingles and blow up one after another… only ashes remain.  Body reacts first – you get head or other aches, tears fall, your heart is swelling, so much that it seems to push away your lungs and it reaches the throat.. it is UNLOCKING the door! It goes up, it can’t stay in such a “bowl”, sinking in that dirt and choking..there’s no more oxygen! … and something happens, which empties that bowl, maybe this is a moment when you cry a river and you can literally feel your heart crying and choking.. How many times have I pushed my heart back in?? How many times have I told it – shut up you bi***, go back and just keep silent, calm down! This was actually what my mind told me because it’s a shame, it’s frightening because I hate myself anyway! In other words.. ISO – is so high – the film is so sensitive – you will not avoid the noise! Lines and dots all over the photo and if my heart is shut behind the doors with a thousand of locks – a shutter speed that is – then a photo I will get to see will be a black bog with some silhouettes, if some.. Somebody told me once – the truth will set you free and I thought this is all about talking and words, it appears that this is also about the FEELINGS. If I let myself to feel them when they come, if I FEEL them with all my body and soul and let them out – this is the TRUTH. I let them out when I cry, scream, when I feel pain and beat myself up inside, when I curse. . AND when I sing, when I ask for help, when I feel powerless… When all the dirt, hogwash, sludge and acid come out – SOUL opens wide like an aperture of a camera and a LIGHT starts to flow in! It’s so light! That you can’t see a thing in a photo…Everything’s white or in a thick fog. .. „WTF!.. the picture is shitty!“ – my mind says.  „We need to close the aperture and shut the shutter (heart)“.. and it tries to force it, quickly and nervously and it‘s been successful so many times.. when it pushes the heart back from a halfway-up down into the dirt until it is choking again and  tries to make it to the top again, to go out.. And God knows how many times you have to feel  your crying and screaming heart forcibly locked by your own mind in a sludge of fear, anger .. I beat her up with my own hands but it still was my chest..beating. Then I turned into others and tried to beat them, with words or at least with a sight but it still kept beating.. until I tried to listen..what was she saying?..Some“body” started to translate my heart‘s language to me. I started listening and understanding..and when it tried to come out and get a gulp of fresh air – I looked for all kinds of ways to help it –  pour all the dirt out that smothered it. I did what I could amain, so my heart will be better to come back, so it could breathe again and not only – so it could GROW  at last, fed by this light which flows in so easily after every „rinsing“. Maybe there‘s never a time when it doesn’t want come out but the bigger it is in your chest the less space is left for the dirt and the faster I hear it crying for help and finally I am able to help. Over time, mind always tries to tell „the truth“ at these moments but when you got couple of experiences when you saw that the best you can do is – listen to your heart and LIVE all the FEELINGS that arise – the relief comes and you hear your mind‘s voice somewhere far away. After that, I believe,  the light in my heart turns into love and it starts to pump blood filled with love into the body, into all the cells and into the brain..where mind sits and maybe the mind is against it but it has no choice.. it starts to change because its food have was forced to change the diet! J and love becomes part of it and it starts to act and react differently. I feel it – from a bad guy always regulating everybody‘s lives and offering „reasonable“ solutions, my mind turns into a great tool to spread that love around, in all my  affairs, big and small… everywhere, at home, in a shop, in a forest. It really starts to operate in a different way. ISO is decreasing, photos come without or very little noise, their quality is getting better. Then I AM ABLE and even WANT TO say „I‘m sorry“  „ I love you“, to smile to a stranger, to comfort when somebody‘s hurt, to hug,  to call with no reason, to sing without a shame, to dance, to help others and to share without hoping to get something back, to be happy and to be grateful for all the „unhappiness“ that turned into such a happiness! When time goes by everything starts to sound together – aperture, shutter speed, ISO… and photos come out clear and bright. I can‘t take my eyes of them!  Then I want to admire them and to share with others. I want so many things. Especially that other people would experience it too, so that they  wouldn’t let their hearts to suffer and choke, so that they could find a TRANSLATOR, who could translate their hearts’ language, so they start to listen to it, throwing away dull and blurry black noisy photos from a cupboard and start to take  new ones, clear and beautiful.  My camera (my body) is ok, it always was – it‘s not broken, it just captures the moments. Everything depends on the settings – ISO (MIND), shutter (HEART) and aperture (SOUL)…because all of them are connected. We all are. ALL”.


Leave me a comment if you FEEL it too.. 

With love..